I keep trying to find a life
On my own apart from you
I am the king of excuses
I've got one for every selfish thing I do
Tell me what's going on inside of me
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior
I wanna be in the light as you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh Lord, be my light and be my salvation
Cuz all I want is to be in the light
The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control
Tell me what's going on inside of me
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior
I wanna be in the light as you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh Lord, be my light and be my salvation
Cuz all I want is to be in the light
It seems like every time I listen to this song, I'm reminded that I do stuff all the time that I shouldn't do. I try to do the right thing, and many times, I just end up messing up big time. Paul described his struggle with this same thing in Romans 7.
(15) For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. (16) Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. (17) So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. (18) For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. (19) For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. (20) Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. (21) So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. (22) For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, (23) but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. (24) Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?( 25) Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. - Romans 7:15-25 (ESV)
This is a problem that all Christians struggle with. The world expects us to be perfect because we're Christians, but we all stumble and fall. No matter how much we try, we will never be perfect until we get to heaven. So until then, we can only claim the promise given in 1 John 1:9, and look forward to that day when Christ will deliver us from our sinful nature.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to
cleanse us from all unrighteousness. - 1 John 1:9 (ESV)
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